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Jul
31
I am writing a fictional silly private detective story for my other blog, first installment just posted.
For this blog I decided to post something from when i did actually work at a detective agency in the UK. This is a long post.
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Stories from the case files of a detective agency as remembered by the detective that gone and did ‘em, that being me.
The events are true, names have been changed, techniques censored and the case file numbers totally made up. Conversations recreated as best as my fuzzy memory will allow.
Case # 10A27643 “Surveillance”
I walked into the detective office, Joe the boss and Sam our ex-military Policeman were out on a case. In the office with me would be the accounts lady Gloria, two secretaries Susan and Tara and the female agent Samantha. I found all four ladies huddled around a small color monitor that was part of our video editing suite. They were watching a surveillance tape from one of our cases. It was a dark interior shot of a bar with a few people at tables and at the bar, the thumping beat of rock from the jukebox filled the audio track.
Jul
31
Yes I know got my pirate/sailor sayings screwed up.
I like that Carolyn my beloved wife works at a large Thrift Store, she gets 50% discount. Great for when I need to add to my library or I see some unusual piece of junk to litter my desk with. Love it when she surprises me as she did today when I met her at work.
Carolyn handed me a bag that had a pair of booted feet sticking out of it, bugger me, a 18 inch Jack Sparra it were, attired in full pirate regalia with sword, flintlock pistol and special compass. Flick a switch and Johnny Depp’s voice rattles off some clips from the Pirate of the Caribbean movie.
dantwhiskertoeIt doesn’t say “Bugger me” or anything nasty, wish it had a programmable voice chip, then I could him to say some ripe old salty banter could I. Now to keep the grandkids mitts off me pirate.
“Arghhh matey.”
Link: Glossary of pirate terms here there be.
Edit: Wow, wife paid $10.00 bucks for this, retail is $79.99.
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After obtaining my new desk junk I went to the store to get milk and ice cream and other necessities. Walked past a small group of guys, one, with shirt and tie and glasses with rather thick lenses [insert "He must have good eyes to see through those", joke here], I caught a snippet of what he was saying;
“Yeah, I have a er, 37 footer, cut down from a 45 footer with stainless steel outer…”
I assume he was talking about a boat and I am sure he was telling the truth, but I just could imagine him trying to impress his friends. This is how my mind works;
“Uh hum, I have a 37 footer cut down from a 45 footer, wide beam, double overhead rump scraper, 800 horse power.”
“Cool, mine is a 46 footer, enlarged from a 40 footer with triple bored, double whammy doohicky and a hot tub.”
Okay, there must be medication I could take!
Jul
30
On the street on the boil
Filed Under observations, on the street | 16 Comments
“Got any spare change?”
“Sign our survey?”
“Would you like a free sample of…”
“Help us impeach Cheney.”
“Are you a registered voter?”
“No! I am a registered nut kicker.”
“A what?”
“Nut kicker, the next person who accosts me in the street gets their nuts kicked through the roof of their head. What was it you wanted again?”
“Oh nothing, have a great day.”
Did I actually say that? No, I wanted to, maybe I should, maybe I should effect a more menacing posture while out on the street and people won’t keep pestering me, bastages!”
Daughter is buzz cutting my hair tonight, maybe that will help, have to perfect my snarl; “Grrrrrrrrr.”
Jul
29
Added other blog to Humor-Blogs
Filed Under blogging, humor blogs | 3 Comments
I was reading Mattress Police Anti-Social Commentary blog, Diesel is soon to have his book published, so I pre-ordered it. Thought you’d be interested as it looks to be a funny read, head on over to his site to check it out Link: Mattress Police.
Also added my Notebook Meanderings blog to Humor-Blogs.com, a great collection of fun blogs to tickle the funny bone. Click the button to check it out.
Jul
27
Schmooze award from Lynda
Filed Under awards, blogging | 9 Comments
toeLynda awarded me a Schmooze blogging award, well, does money come with that? 
First time won anything like that, gives one a warm fuzzy feeling it does.
Hope Lynda don’t mind I pasted this out rather than retype it.
Schmoozing, as defined by Dictionary.com is the ability “to converse casually, especially in order to gain an advantage or make a social connection.” When it comes to blogging, schmoozing is your ticket to making new friends, getting yourself noticed and building a reputation. Some blogger’s are gifted with the ability to effectively schmooze and others not so much.
Now for the Schmooze rules:
1. If, and only if, you get the Thinking Blogger Award or The Power of Schmooze Award, write a post with links that make you think, or have schmoozed you into submission.
2. Link to this post and Mike so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.
3. Optional: Proudly display the “Power of Schmooze Award”.
So I have to award this to 5 bloggers, mmm, so many good bloggers whom to choose?
- Metalmom at I Don’t Wanna Hear it! Always enjoy reading her posts and for a new blogger she does it so well.
- Neil at Citizen of the Month, Neil’s blog has appeared on all my blogrolls since I started way back when when I wrote Nonsensical Flounderings blog what seems eons ago.
- Lori at Lori the Transplanter. Another enjoyable read.
- Mr. Fab at Pointless Drivel. I know he has probably won a bucket load of these awards, but I enjoy his sites. A great fun guy and I enjoy taking part in his Blogtalk Radio show too when I am able.
- Crystal over at Midnight Therapy with Crystal, wait, is it Retardo Crazybon now!
Jul
26
The book it doth glow in the dark methinks I not be mad after all
Filed Under Chuck Palahniuk, books, well I never! | 8 Comments
The wife and I have been going to bed an hour earlier than usual so we can lay in bed and read. She has been working her way through the Narnia series of books.
I just finished Choke by Chuck Palahniuk and started his book Haunted.
I woke up in the middle of the night, rolled over and looked over at my night table, the book which has a face on the front was glowing brightly in the dark. Cool I thought then drifted back off to la la land.
I thought nothing of it until on the way home on the bus, I was thinking about the book and convinced myself that I was probably dreaming it and the book did not actually glow.
Well blow me! Just held it under the light and then walked into the walk-in closet, darn thing does too glow, well just proves I am easily pleased methinks.
Least I didn’t wake up and see the eery glowing face and freak out!
Jul
24
A contest over at blonde bloggers place
Filed Under contest | Leave a Comment
Here’s a chance to win a personalized CD for your kids, pop on over to So a Blonde Walks Into a Blog and just leave a comment to enter her free contest.
Tell her Mik sent you.
Also enter my contest too of you haven’t done so.
Jul
23
Business cards
Filed Under blogging, business cards, promotion | 11 Comments
Messing around with some layouts for business cards, just in case I want to give someone the blog addresses. No need to write anything down just produce a card from one of my metal card holders. I have my regular work cards in a holder as well as these new blog ones in another.
