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Nov
26
The stare of doom
Filed Under on the bus
I’m on the bus, I am in an aisle seat, I prefer the window seat. We get to the transit center and a guy opposite in the window seat gets up and gets off. I slide out of my seat and into the window seat opposite. I noticed movement behind me as I did this, someone else had the same idea as me but I beat him to the seat.
I heard him mutter something under his breath as he went back to his own aisle seat, sounded like “Bastard.”
I thought What?
I turned and stared at him, he was staring at me and we locked stares. I held the stare and looked into one of his eyes with both of mine, works great on kids and animals. He suddenly found something outside the bus window to stare at and started to fidget in his seat.
Yeah that’s right. Cower under the withering stare of doom.
Oh, I am easily amused.
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12 Responses to “The stare of doom”
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Let’s get into the details…
Height, weight and build…. the other guy
helen’s last blog post..Snow in this Part of the World?
Must remember this trick the next time I am in a staring contest….
Janna’s last blog post..The other side of the coin
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts.
Wow, handbags at dawn over the window seat.
Would that stare work if you wanted to scare somebody out of their seat too?
Whenever I’ve been pregnant, I’ve always had to stand on packed buses because nobody will offer me a seat. It gets a bit uncomfortable so I’d really like a way of scaring people (apart from pretending to go into labour although that would be funny too) up off their arses to let me sit down…you know, for next time.
clairec23’s last blog post..I?m a Planner, Baby?
Just so you know Claire, I always offered my seat to pregnant women and old people when I rode the bus. Then I would direct a withering stare around at all the men sitting there in their suits and the students pretending to be studying. I believe I may have even loudly muttered something like ‘What a bunch of ASSHOLES’.
The stare is very effective, except on crazy people. I once sat on an almost empty bus and watched a man in about 12 pounds of filthy clothes come walking down the aisle till he got to my seat. I stared offensively up at him, but his eyes were going in different directions, so I had to keep switching eyes. He dropped right next to me on the seat, trapping me next to the window. I then discovered he was drunk and that his huge beard was copiously covered in vomit.
Public Transit. It Sucks.
I wish I could develop this techique over the phone or through the mail… Might not have to call and remind people to pay me so often.
Marilyn’s last blog post..Cow Television?
My dad had a stare like that in his arsenal. It could curdle milk.
Helen, big guy, probably used to intimidating people, he could knocked me over if he breathed too hard on me. So I count myself lucky.
Janna, I remember reading about staring in someone’s eye with both of yours, sort of psyche them out.
Seth, thanks for your comment.
clairec23, I give up my seat for pregnant women, elderly etc.
karen, yeah you don’t use the stare on crazies, attracts them straight to you.
marilyn, yeah would be useful to have something similar for those occasions.
antibarbie, my Dad has the stare too.
lol at Karen, you poor thing, that happens to me a lot too. I must look safe to sit beside or something horrendous like that because no matter how many free seats there are, people always sit down next to me, especially drunken people…who then try to talk me…I really must learn that stare
clairec23’s last blog post..F*%k You, FAI, F*%k You?
Sometimes I’ll have the iPod ear buds in but not playing any tunes, but I’ll ignore the crazy talkers like I am listening to music and cannot hear them.
That’s a good idea…except I tend to blush and make it obvious I can hear them. I guess I must accept my fate
clairec23’s last blog post..Tattoos and Crushes
Then pretend to be asleep that also works.