Apr

27

Spidey gang signs

Filed Under family, grand kids | 6 Comments

I was downloading photos from the camera memory card to our PC’s, came across one Carolyn took of our grandson Alec and I. I am in my Indiana Jones hat and Alec is wearing his Spider-Man costume. Looking at the picture I called Carolyn over,

“Hey, why is Alec flashing bloody gang signs?”

“What? What gang signs?”

“There, he is flashing frickin gang signs. Who is the dumb ass who taught our grandson bloody gang signs? I think I need to go postal on someone’s arse.”

“They are not gang signs calm the heck down or I’ll smack you up the side of the nut.”

“Then why is he holding his hands like that then?”

“Look how he is dressed, what is he?”

“Er, Spider-Man.”

“Yeah, well how does Spider-Man hold his hands when he is releasing his spider web stuff?”

“Er, oh yeah, ‘Spidey hands.”

Carolyn walks off shaking her head and rolling her eyes.

mik&alec2.jpg

Apr

27

Open Letter: woman on the escalator

Filed Under open Letter | Leave a Comment

Open Letter: To woman on escalator (who yes, I know will probably never read this post!)

Lady, if you get to the top of the escalator and drop something, either kick it ahead of you and pick it up or leave it!

Don’t do as you did and bend over and take your sweet effing time to pick it up. People, namely me, are riding up the escalator behind you. I got nearer and nearer and I am thinking, that if you didn’t hurry up and pick up your dropped item and move, that rather than risk falling backwards down the escalator because you’re in the way, I would’ve just pushed you arse over tit out of the way.

Luckily, she moved just as I got to the top of the escalator. Some people have no consideration to those around them.

Apr

25

Being aware

Filed Under cell phone, on the street | Leave a Comment

Whenever I am out on the street and my cell phone rings or I get a text message, I always make sure I pay attention to my surroundings while using the phone. I will usually stop where I am and talk or reply to a text message. I never continue walking in case I am distracted, I certainly won’t try and negotiate my way across a road while on the phone.

Getting across the street under normal circumstances can sometimes be precarious. In France I have had to rush back across a pedestrian crossing because I realized the crazy French drivers who were hurtling towards me had no intentions of stopping to allow me to cross.

Here in the States I have been in the middle of a crossing on the “Walk” signal when a guy in a Dodge Ram turned left and run me down, luckily he stopped so he didn’t go right over me. I only chipped a bone in my left hand from that so consider myself fortunate.

So I certainly won’t let the cell phone be a distraction that could endanger my life.

Unfortunately an item on the local news the other night shows how a cell phone can be a dangerous distraction. A girl was walking alongside railway tracks talking on her phone. So engrossed in the conversation she never heard a guy in his truck blaring his horn at her or the train driver sounding his horn as a warning to her, she walked right in front of the train and was killed.

No phone call is that important you can’t call back at a safer time. Don’t get me started on drivers who drive while talking on their cell phones!

Oh, Carolyn’s birthday is coming up next week, time to check out a gift basket methinks.

Apr

23

Pet peeve

Filed Under rants | 8 Comments

Not sure if I have mentioned one of my pet peeves. I hate following someone through a door when they only open it wide enough to slide themselves through then let it slam. Bastages!

Courtesy people, come one! Maybe I was just brung up right, but I always check when going through a door to see if anyone is following behind me. If so, I hold the door for them, and yes, I have held a door open for a long procession of people. By doing this I don’t infer that anyone is unable to open the door for themselves.

I have only ever had one person get snippy because I held the door open for them. I was going through a door in a mall and a homeless guy was behind me lugging armfuls of plastic bags full of his belongings. As I held the door open he looked at me and called me a “Fucker” and told me he was capable of opening the door for himself thank you.

“Fine,” I said then said an expletive “wine racks,” then let the door slam in his face.

Okay, I said something other than wine racks, but I had to drop that link in somehow!

Apr

21

Changes

Filed Under uncategorized | 4 Comments

Well, already making progress on stuff on my “to Do” list, designed some business cards for the mentalism stuff I am working on. Determined to perform an act in front of strangers at least once, maybe I’ll get the bug and want to entertain more people.

We’ve also decided to move, been talking about it for a while and we already put down a deposit on a place, only moving around the corner to a place all on one level instead of the two stories we have currently. Slightly smaller so we have some crap to get rid of, but we are excited about moving. I foresee lots of cleaning supplies, disposable gloves and the like as Carolyn likes to have a place spotless before we leave it.

Carolyn has a big birthday coming up on the 29th so thinking of some stuff for that.

Apr

20

No more Mr Procrastinator

Filed Under uncategorized | 5 Comments

I am a self-confessed procrastinator, my motto is: Why do now what I can do tomorrow, or preferably the next day.

This is mainly for things I don’t want to do, I hate doing things because I have to, and rather do things because I want too.

But saying that, I still have a long list of personal things I’d like to do, ambitions included, like performing a mentalism act in front of strangers.

After yesterday though that will change, I realized life is too short and you need to do things as you think of them because that tomorrow may not come.

Yesterday after the wedding party had left and everything was once again quiet, I was outside and said hello to a neighbor who was walking his grand son around the corner so the boy could play with another kid.

I went inside and shortly after there were paramedics outside, another neighbor was performing CPR on the neighbor I had spoken to earlier. He has had heart problems but yesterday while watching his grandson and friend play he collapsed. Unfortunately he died despite all the efforts.

It is sombre around here as you would expect and people are bringing flowers and some are in the area where he died. It seems weird to have spoken to someone and a few minutes later you find out you’ll never speak to them or see them again.

Made me realize you have to take advantage of today, because as I said, tomorrow may never come.

Apr

19

Another kid married off

Filed Under uncategorized | 9 Comments

Well after six years with the same girl, two kids and another on the way, our son finally tied the knot. Had a quick ceremony at the youngest daughter’s house around the corner and everyone will shortly turn up here for a small reception.

I got delegated to take some pictures as per usual, everything went okay, tears were shed. Now I can get out of my suit and relax.

Least this wedding didn’t cost us a fortune.

Well, here comes the hordes.

Apr

18

Oops off color text message my bad

Filed Under wife | 3 Comments

Yesterday I was working on the computer here at home, Carolyn had gone with her friend after work to pick up some stuff from the store. I was thinking about my wife and decided to send her a text message. If her phone isn’t in the pouch on her belt she tucks it in her bra and has it on vibrate so I like to buzz her with a message.

We text each other a lot and send little love notes and other stuff all throughout the day.

Anyway I wrote a very strong text message, I’m talking leave nothing to the imagination very naughty message that I was sure would color her face and make her flustered.

I didn’t get any response and wondered if she had the phone in her purse and didn’t feel it vibrate.

Tangent: My phone is a flip phone and I have it set so after flipping it open I can see who is calling before answering. Carolyn has a slider phone and hers is set to answer a call or open a text message when she slides it open.

off-tangent.

She came home with her friend and her friend was smiling, when she left I asked Carolyn if she got the message. She smiled and told me that she had just handed her phone to her friend to use just as my message came in. I could feel my face color when she told me that!

Her friend said “This message is from your husband, I stopped reading it,” as she handed her the phone.

Dang, I felt like booking a royal caribbean cruise and going to bury my heads in the sand on some beach somewhere.

Carolyn’s friend who is in the process of divorcing the dingbat of a husband she has said that she wished her husband would send her messages and treated her like I treat my wife.

Still, I am glad it wasn’t the mother-in-law or one of the kids who saw the message!

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