Mrs. Mordant

Well the family has been here all weekend and so we have had 4 grandchildren running around laughing, playing watching t.v, and fighting! It is like having all mine back home when they were little. I had to put into Hiding the my size Barbie and coca cola bear since they could not decide that they could share them. I did not remember how much a 14 month old baby could beat up a 7 year old. LOL!! I never heard my name called so much GRANDMA Gage is hitting again or Grandma Gage is pulling my hair. Then within 2 seconds he is sitting on her lap laughing with her giving her kisses everywhere.

They really have been a real joy to have around. And the Best Part was when Grandpa Brought Max our rabbit downstairs for them to see and had them all convinced that Max was the Easter Bunny. Now they are always asking to see the Easter Bunny. Tomorrow the whole clan will all be heading off to Church together and then a potluck Easter Egg hunt there. I am really looking forward to it as there will be 4 generation there. Mom and Dad will also be there. These are the times to cherish and enjoy and take plenty of photos which I will post of all the kids when they are dressed up.

I spent the night making a wonderful sugar free banana pudding for the potluck as well as a Salad to take and then worked on making sure they had their Easter Baskets already. I was up before the sun and now I am going to bed just a few hours before it is up again.

May Everyone have A Blessed Easter

Good Morning to all my past loyal readers. I have not been on in a long while to do any writing and thought it was time that I get back to it.

What has been going in my life? Well I have had lots of thing happing around me with my God, health, family, and work. It has kept me so busy that  I just had to take a break from doing any writing. Well am adjusting to life and getting back into the swing of things and pulling it all together.

I just wanted to say Happy Easter to everyone and post something that was sent to me in an email.

Well today has been one full of frustrations and let downs and arms covered in spots and bruises.

I am still battling lots of health issues and had to go to the allergist for some testing.

Boy did they put me through the test. I had 75 different little needles and scratches And then when I showed up with some real positive test. So they did more in depth testing real needles in the arm I had to have 12 shots in my left arm.

I look like a junkie!! from all the holes and bruises that I have.

I did find out that I am allergic to Rice, Cinnamon, hops, peanuts, And also myself and then a mixture of things that is in the air. I have to go and get a CT scan of the Head to check out the sinus area to see what the damage is inside. Also start meds to get my asthma under control.

Then to top it off my diabetes  AC1 took a big jump from 6.0 to 8.3

Then it looks like some the time wanted for us to get away for our anniversary  is not going to happen due work schedules. Things just feel like they are just starting to fall into hole of darkness and with each day one more let down is happing.

I feel like I always have a Black cloud over my head that is pouring more and more of a down on my head. I feel like I just want to find a dark closet and hide in the back of it and make the world go away.

Have you ever suddenly lost yourself and not know where to look for you? Knowing All the things around you are yours but they seem to fade in the background of the walls. And the people you know just seem like they are strangers and that you are standing all alone in a big empty void.

Where do you start the search to re find and reconnect to all that feels empty and blank? A feeling of nothingness floods the mind and the spirit that once was alive and filled with joy.

Not knowing why you are feeling this way when everything in your life is better than it has ever been. Great husband, family, home and  job.

Well where do I start this post? I know I want to pay tribute to a wonderful man that has been a real blessing to have in my life. His name was Jack and he had a heart of Gold. He is my Uncle that I lost on December 7 2007.
We lost him to cancer and it was a Blessing in the way it came about. On Thanksgiving he had a stroke and they found out that he had cancer in several areas of the body. So he went very fast and did not have much pain. We lost him with only a few weeks notice. His Service was one that showed a great tribute to him. The Navy was there giving a tibute and talked about how he did a term in Samoa to help rebuild it. He earned the purple heart. They gave my Aunt the flag that covered His coffin.
After the Service went back to his home with my Aunt and for family time and it was amazing to see the way we were all able to laugh and talk about Him. We had a celebration of His life and it was a wonderful time and it was not one that felt covered in heaviness but instead one filled of love and joy.
He loved to fish and would always bring me home some fresh salmon every year. He liked to work with His hands and was either building something or working in the yard. He also had a great love for Dogs.
He was the silly type and would love to make you laugh. He always had butterscotch candy in his pocket for me ever since I was very little. He was like having a second father. So I guess I was spoiled.
He was 89. He and my Aunt was married for 65 years this last November, They got a letter and autograph photo from the President and First Lady congratulating them for how long they were married. My Uncle was a tiny cuddly man that was alway looking for ways to be able to give a helping hand.

When my kids were little He and my Aunt would show up every August and take me shopping to get my kids the things that were needed for the school year.

They always made sure that we had food in the house and that everything was always covered for the kids when it came to Christmas. He and My Aunt had great values and I will forever hold them both in my heart. He leaves behind a large family. He has a daughter and son in law and grandkids and great grandkids. Not to mention all of the nieces and nephews.

He stretched out a helping to all and any of the family when it was needed and never asked for anything in return. I know that He will be greatly missed by us all.

I Love You Uncle Jack.

Well things have been very crazy for me this last month and I have not posted much. First I want to say sorry for being away so long. Between work and family I have not felt much like taking time to be on the computer. Most nights it has been early to bed or time with the family. With the holidays about I am in a real whirlwind with work and shopping for the grandkids. Which by the way has just jumped from 8 to 10 all at once.

Our daughter has a man in her life that seems to be a real blessing to have around. He is the father of her daughter who is 6 but he did not know about her until 6 months ago. At that point our granddaughter found out that she has two sisters. Well, it seems like things may work for my daughter to get back with her ex. So we now how have 2 more grand daughters and which I may add love us dearly as we do them.

So with work and family keeping us busy we have decided on a whim to run away this weekend. The hubby has picked out a hotel for us to stay in downtown Seattle. We are going to spend the weekend relaxing and Christmas shopping and checking out all the Christmas things that are going on at the Seattle Center. We will get to ride the monorail to the Space Needle and we may even take in the Science Fiction Museum.

Downtown is always so beautiful at Christmas time I am really looking forward to the time away. I have even decided to leave the cell phone at home.

So tell me have any of my readers made any plans to do anything special for Christmas. We have gotten a start on some of our Christmas shopping but I do have to admit that it was all done via the web. I say God Bless the web for it’s convenience.

I had a sweet and funny thing happen to me at work yesterday. Michael this weekend had left a really good size love bite on my neck and shoulder area making it look like a really good size bruise. When I got to work and was talking to a co-worker she looked me funny and then asked me if everything was OK or if I needed some help.

I took Monday off work and since I was not there she was worried. When she saw my neck she thought that I was out Monday because I had been beaten. Once I told her what it was she just about fell on floor from shock and laughing at the same time. Then she had to drag me around to everyone at work telling what it was and she could not believe the Michael and I are still that much in love to do anything like.

I was teased all day at work. But I have to admit that was wearing a huge grin on my face of,”Yup I got me a good one at home and boy does he show it.” I have to say he is he best husband in the world.

On a separate note, Mik and I have adopted a single mom and her son for the holidays and when I had her son make me a list of what he wanted I was amazed. He is 11 years old and a bit old for his age and all he asked for was a new teen Bible so he could stop using the children’s Bible that has all the baby pictures. He sure is a great Kid.

The Mom right now really needs lots of love and support as she has only her brother up here for support when things go wrong and right now she is having much more than she should have to deal with. Her best friend was just murdered in a home invasion robbery and she is doing all she can just to hold together. She shows a real strength and faith in God through all of this that is just blowing me away.

Her son has sent us a photo of the two of them as a thank You for just being there for them. Yesterday she asked if I could be her adopted Mom. It made me cry. She has barely been able to make ends meet and so Michael and I have been helping some. I just wish I could do more for them.

You all have read at one time or another of me posting about some of the daily things that I have to deal with but I have never really said a whole lot of what really going on. I am a diabetic, heart patient,bipolar,etc.

You see everyday I have to struggle with making the right choices for my health. What to do and what to eat and how to go about choosing what is the best way for me to live a better and healthier life. In the last month I have really had to rethink and take a look at my life and see what I really was doing to myself

I was on a course of self destruction and really not caring about my health anymore. I just gave up and had the feeling “Well if I die, so what? Mik is young enough to find himself a new wife and have the life he deserves. I mean why should he be stuck with an broken down older woman that he would have take care of and not have a chance at a real life. I get on a real destructive course thinking it would be better for Mik. I was able to keep it hidden from Mik when he was around the real despair I was feeling.

You know, “Life is great dear and I am fine.” Alway keeping a happy face on. It has becoming harder and harder to keep that happy face on. I see the looks that Michael gets on his face when he sees that pain I have to live with that I have been working so hard to keep him from seeing. . I recently had to come to terms with myself that no matter what, what decisions I make about how to take care of myself that it also is affecting my dear loving husband.

Well this week I came to realize what a real effect that it would have on him and what it would do if he was to lose me. I had to stop and step back and take a look at what his life would be if I really did just give up and allow my body to just do what it wants and just quit.

I have been working to find me some support somewhere so I can learn to reach out and really start making the right choices to live a better healthier life. One of the things that has helped me is a site I stumbled on, it is really something. The people there are going through things much worse than I am and are also working on how to make it through each day. I have made some really nice friends there and the outpouring of caring that they have shown me has be a godsend to me.

I wanted to post about them, what a help they have been and tell everyone that if you need someone to reach out too I would go and check them out. I have added a link to them, they are called Daily Strength.

They have many groups that you can choose from for support anywhere from health issues to ones of family and life issues that we have to work through. If you do visit, I also Just want to give my name there if you ever need a friend for support I go by the name of LynRose one I use to use what I was a back in school many moons ago.

Halloween is fast approaching and things at work are getting very busy. The thrift store I work for is well known as a place to get what you need for Halloween. We have been so busy with our customers coming in and trying to decide what they are going to be. My favorite ones were the kids that came in and see all the stuff that they have to choose from. They get all excited and want to try this and that on and get all hyper saying Mommy, Mommy I want this one while a sibling is pulling her the other way say no Mommy this way first.

I really felt for the Mom and asked if she needed any help. She said yes you can get me a drink and babysit for me with a laugh that almost sounded like a pleading way of saying save me from all this. I had 3 kids that I raised and I was really able to feel for the woman. I sure am glad that mine are now all grown. I told her that it will go faster than she thinks and she will wish she had spent a little more time with helping them find what they want.

We have Moms that come and find a toy and sit their child on the floor by the racks just go off looking and not even watch to see what their child is doing. Next thing you the child is up and tears the toys off racks, open bags, pulls clothes off racks or get on the ride on toys. You have no idea of how many times I have tripped over on that comes out from under a rack of clothes.

And to think this is only the beginning of the Holiday season. Well at least I will be able to get my discount on the new stuff we carry for the grandchildren.

On another note I am starting to think about taking some classes on computer stuff and ways to make some money from all the time that I spent on line. I am looking at some options of what may be out there for me to do.

Things are getting harder for me to be able to work a full 8 hours a day on my feet and the pain I feel when I get home is becoming unbearable. I come home take off my shoes and do not want be on my feet that rest of the day. Every time I stand I almost fall over from the pain I have and it takes a lot to get my legs moving again. Seeing the look of concern on Mik’s face sometimes really makes my heart just crash.

Well thanks for letting me vent

Well contest is over, we want to thank everyone for entering, we had so many wonderful suggestions for vacations. We have a huge list of places to look at and we will have some locations not just for our tenth wedding anniversary but for future vacations as well.

We are still not sure exactly what we will do for our wedding anniversary yet, but we have some ideas to look into.

Thanks also to everyone who pimped the contest on their sites. Thanks to Mik who as admin collated and handled all the behind the scenes stuff for this contest.

Mik produced a list of all entrants and made sure those that qualified were entered twice. He then numbered the list and put the numbered list into random.org and generated a random list. The entrant at the top of the list is:

drum roll please

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