Mrs. Mordant

You all have read at one time or another of me posting about some of the daily things that I have to deal with but I have never really said a whole lot of what really going on. I am a diabetic, heart patient,bipolar,etc.

You see everyday I have to struggle with making the right choices for my health. What to do and what to eat and how to go about choosing what is the best way for me to live a better and healthier life. In the last month I have really had to rethink and take a look at my life and see what I really was doing to myself

I was on a course of self destruction and really not caring about my health anymore. I just gave up and had the feeling “Well if I die, so what? Mik is young enough to find himself a new wife and have the life he deserves. I mean why should he be stuck with an broken down older woman that he would have take care of and not have a chance at a real life. I get on a real destructive course thinking it would be better for Mik. I was able to keep it hidden from Mik when he was around the real despair I was feeling.

You know, “Life is great dear and I am fine.” Alway keeping a happy face on. It has becoming harder and harder to keep that happy face on. I see the looks that Michael gets on his face when he sees that pain I have to live with that I have been working so hard to keep him from seeing. . I recently had to come to terms with myself that no matter what, what decisions I make about how to take care of myself that it also is affecting my dear loving husband.

Well this week I came to realize what a real effect that it would have on him and what it would do if he was to lose me. I had to stop and step back and take a look at what his life would be if I really did just give up and allow my body to just do what it wants and just quit.

I have been working to find me some support somewhere so I can learn to reach out and really start making the right choices to live a better healthier life. One of the things that has helped me is a site I stumbled on, it is really something. The people there are going through things much worse than I am and are also working on how to make it through each day. I have made some really nice friends there and the outpouring of caring that they have shown me has be a godsend to me.

I wanted to post about them, what a help they have been and tell everyone that if you need someone to reach out too I would go and check them out. I have added a link to them, they are called Daily Strength.

They have many groups that you can choose from for support anywhere from health issues to ones of family and life issues that we have to work through. If you do visit, I also Just want to give my name there if you ever need a friend for support I go by the name of LynRose one I use to use what I was a back in school many moons ago.